Giggle of the Day

I got this little gem from:
http://www.imdb.com/news/sb/2007-12-24

Jessica Simpson Sets Box-office Record

Jessica Simpson may also have set a record at the box office. Her latest film, Blonde Ambition, co-starring Luke Wilson, took in just $1,190 over the weekend. True, it was shown in only eight Texas theaters, but that's still an average of less than $50 per theater per day, meaning about six people showed up to see it in each location each day. On his TV Guide Online blog, film critic Ken Fox asked, "Doesn't someone like Jessica Simpson have more than 48 friends? What about that big Texas family of hers? ... Just how bad is this thing anyway?"

I can't really sum it up better than that, except to add "Are you really all that surprised?" and "Boy, they must think that Texans are dumber than everyone else!" I don't owe Jessica Simpson anything for growing up in the same state as I have; her stupidity has alienated me faster than anything.
I hope you guys get at least a little grin out of this one--I did.

Michael Clayton

Psychological Drama + splash of Legal Thriller + George Clooney = arresting film

Let me tell you, George Clooney was made to wear suits! I can't explain it better than he just looks fabulous and at home in them, even if he is hauling it up a wooded hill. (No spoilers, but when you do get to that particular scene, I think you will find it tense, but also emotionally satisfying and perhaps oddly compelling; I did.)

"Legal Thriller" is not my cup of tea. I have never read a John Grisham book (although I seem to have seen almost all of the movie adaptations of them.) and don't really intend too. I didn't think A Civil Action was particularly noteworthy, nor did I go gaga over The Insider. Nope, high fantasy is more to my taste. Even though I walked in to the film more than a little biased, I realized that the movie was more an exploration of the characters than a story bogged down in Erin Brockovich-ian chemistry details, minus the flip, sassy fun. "Exploration of character" sounds terribly boring, but Clooney manages to keep his "legal bag man" role real; this guy is actually relate-able and not smarmy, as one would expect.

Tom Wilkinson is cringe-worthy in his manic madness, which only proves to me that he is a good actor, even if I don't always enjoy seeing his characters (Normal, anyone?!? What a spiritually yucky movie). I do have to ask; what was up with the 6 bottles of Lysol on his butcher's block of a kitchen counter? I think they served two purposes:
1) To show how bonkers his character was and
2) To secure more product-placement revenue to offset the production budget.
I personally kept waiting for him to down it all in a fit of suicidal madness, but it wasn't really that kind of movie.

Tilda Swinton was great, as always, but how in the world did they make her look fat? Seriously, she is almost bone. The jacket she was wearing in her last scene did the trick, and was horridly atrocious. Her acting, however, was fantastic! It was fascinating to see her tightly controlled exterior come crashing down. Along the way, we were treated with snippets of scenes of her prepping for her day, working through her carefully-delivered wording as Head Councilor for a multinational corporation. I think Ms. Swinton turned a character who could have been an automaton on the page into someone the audience can almost feel sympathy for.
To me, she is a magnetic curiosity; I feel compelled to watch her. My favorite role of hers was the splendidly andogynous Gabriel in Constantine, but judging from IMDB, she is the go-to actress for indy gender-bending. Terrific; I can hardly think of a better person to do it (although Cate Blanchett may give Tilda a run for her money in I'm Not There.)

--Note: There is more text to follow, but I have recently been informed that my posts are "insanely long", so I will break off here and add a "comment" that contains the rest of my review. I also promise that it will be less gossip-y from here on out, focusing more on the plot and structure of the movie.--

Labyrinth - "This is not an ordinary gift for an ordinary girl"

Goblins, mazes, fairies, ballrooms, bogs of eternal stench; all portrayed with the joy, enthusiasm and ability only found in a team like Jim Henson and George Lucas. This musical, comedic-fantasy is one of my all time favorite movies. The music is true 80s David Bowie, full of synthesisors and echoes and the special effects are "old school" but effective. I will be clear in stating that I am bias, I love this movie and can find few faults with it. Goblins are done by the same puppeteers that created some of the best loved characters of all time. Costumes are wonderful (who could take their eyes of Bowie's codpiece?) expecially in the ballroom scene. That scene "when the world falls down" has fueled costume ball fantasies in my brain for years. In fact, many of this movie's elements have fuled my fantasies.
David Bowie and Jennifer Connely shine. Bowie plays the Goblin King, who is somewhat creepy and not human, but finds himself in love with a human girl. The girl, Sarah, is played by Connelly (I believe this is her first big role) with just the right amount of innocence and adolescence to create a sixteen-year-old with a preoccupation for fantasy and fairytales. Perhaps some of my love for this movie comes from the fact that, growing up, I related very well with the character of Sarah (even though my life had nothing in common with her).
All told, the puppetry, acting, special effects, attention to detail and wonderful story create a magical movie that shouldn't be missed. However, if you didn't see it as a child, some of the wonder will probably be missing.

Atonement

Young hot actors+tragedy=bearable Atonement
Here is another book that I have 'read' in preparation for the film version. I don't think that I would have picked it up if the lovely Ms. Knightly hadn't seduced me in to it. First of all, I don't like stories that are too tragic; the book seemed like a big downer, and in some ways it is (sexual assault, particularly of a minor, is never fun to me). On the other hand, it is also a beautiful character-study for so many of the main players and I am content with the time I spent listening to the audiobook.

I think James McAvoy is going to be a great Robbie and Romola Garai is good enough to make the audience not totally despise Briony, the younger sister whose misunderstanding instigates the the tragedy. I am in; this cast has sold me on the hope that the sadness of the story and the bittersweetness of what little redemption the book affords will not turn into a lachrymose mush on-screen.

I can tell you right now that my best movie buddy will not be interested in seeing this with me, so I may have to review it all by myself. While I think it is too early to talk about a movie's chances at an Oscar (it is always too early, particularly if a movie hasn't even come out yet. Wait until November, people!), this movie seems like a jury-pleaser, from what I know of the book and the actors. Admittedly, the actors are still the biggest draw for me, but the cinematography also looks fantastic. We shall see.

Going to see it: No Country For Old Men

I just finished the audiobook for this title, in preparation for the movie coming out. I prefer to read (or 'read', in the case of audiobooks) the text a movie is based on, before I see it. This may not be the best plan, since I am usually a little disappointed with the movie's comparatively limited scope, but I do have fun agreeing or disagreeing with the casting choices (Tom Hanks as Robert Langdon? Please!).

I liked the book a lot. Tom Stechschulte's voice did the gritty landscape of the novel justice, and from the previews, the movie will too. Javier Bardem (a great actor, even if I don't appreciate him very much) is super creepy, even in an awful haircut. I think he is going to be terrifyingly good as the psychopath Chigurh (on cd, pronounced more like a deeply southern slur of "chigger" than "sugar"). Josh Brolin is not an actor that I think very highly of, but he certainly looks the part, as does Tommy Lee Jones (a great actor, who makes some unfortunate choices). I adore Kelly Macdonald, so I will see her in almost anything. I will be even more impressed if she can pull off the deep-southern vulnerability of Carla Jean without being overbearinly needy. I am not so sure about Woody Harrelson; I can't take the guy seriously, even if he is set up to be the 'problem solver' deployed to reign in Chigurh's killing spree.

Now all I have to do is hope that the producers don't try to 'update' the setting; for me, that would ruin it, even though all the way through the book, I was dying for a good CSI team and some DNA-tests.

We'll see how well the translation from the page to the screen works out. I am prepared to like it, although I don't think that Lunanshee will be eager to see the movie, much less like the ending. I think the dark, gritty, rangy prose of the novel will come to life on-screen.
I am glad that I read the story first, because I know what a deliciously unsettling scare I am going to be in for with the killer's calm application of the cattle stun-gun. Maybe the metallic chunk of a high-pressure tank being set down on concrete will make me jump for years to come. (Darn, and I really like to scuba-dive!)

'Speechless' with laughter

Romantic Comedy of Errors+ 2 good actors' chemistry+wit=Speechless
You know what movie I would really like to watch? Speechless, the 1994 comedy with Geena Davis and Michael Keeton.

I haven't seen this movie in about 8 years, but I remember really liking it straight off. Perhaps if I saw it again, I would not find it nearly so engaging. I have the IMDB page up right next to this blog, and it is hard to believe that I would like the movie any less today than I did then, particularly with a cast such as Ernie Hudson (sadly, always an underdog), Christopher Reeve at his dry-comedian best, and Bonnie Bedelia. How many thirty-something comedies come along? Or comedies about political campaigns? Comedies are usually the territory of people in their twenties, like Just Friends or Old School (in that case, people who are acting like they are in their twenties, which is even sadder and less entertaining). Why do rom-coms these days all seem like You, Me and Dupree? Or, if they address more 'mature' characters, you get things like Must Like Dogs. Bleh!

Nope, I loved the sparkling chemistry between Geena and Michael and sizzling wit of Speechless's dialog. Unlike other relationship movies featuring people older than 22, these characters have just enough baggage to make things interesting, without making them "damaged goods." This movie has been on my mind for almost a week, and I need to go hunt down a copy. I hope you like it too; if not, I would be interested in why you didn't. Maybe I will even add a post as an "after", so that what you read now is the "before" column.
In any case, I am off to the video store to see if my initial affection for this movie has stood the test of time.

Stardust

First, let me say that I really enjoyed this movie. Cleaver plot, well-defined characters and wonderful actors really brought this movie to life. Definitely one of the best fantasy movies I have seen in years. There is some predictability for anyone who is familiar with the fantasy genre; you know how the witch will die, who the hero ends up with and how the story will end. In many ways Stardust is a fairytale, but the film is so well done that you don't mind the bit of predictability.
Many have compared this movie to The Princess Bride but, while they are both in the fantasy epic genre, I believe this is a mistake. The Princess Bride is the ultimate parody and requires a certain level of intelligence from its audience to recognize it's brilliance. Stardust is a different type of film. It is not a parody, but rather a sometimes comedic fantasy adventure. Sure there are amusing moments on par with anything found in TPB, but it is not the same type of comedy.
Danes plays a disdainful Yvaine well, while Pfieffer and De Niro each play their characters to the hilt. However, it may be relative newcomer Charlie Cox who truly carried the show. Cox's character grows from a humble, bumbling shop boy to a confidant, intelligent man. The transformation is almost as magical as the story itself.
Bottom Line: This is a must for any fantasy lovers.

Shoot 'Em Up

Why? Really. Why? Three great actors in a pretty worthless movie. Other critics are correct in that the title accurately describes the movie; for all intents and purposes this flick is nothing more than a string of improbable and frivolously violent action scenes. Shoot 'Em Up is rated "R" and certainly earns that rating. This movie encompasses everything from carrot killings to non-traditional "houses of ill repute" and the fondling of corpses. Once again I ask: Why? The three main actors are all wonderfully talented, but the script demeans their ability. I think they may have lost a bet, or owed someone some money. That is the only reason I can think that these people would be involved in production of this kind. There were a few light moments and some funny lines, but not enough to redeem the film. Don't waste your time. Wait for video, or better yet, wait until it comes on television and don't waste your money. (I have much better hopes for Clive Owen in Elizabeth: The Golden Age.)